Sunday, April 29, 2012

Hospital Day 3:

Late last evening we got transferred to the Antepartum unit after I got taken off the Magnesium drip.  We had a little party in our old room - Jack was pumped to try out the spray cheese in a can a friend had brought us in a fun snack bag gift - I think it was the first time he had ever had it & we will just say

The new room has a place for Randy & Jack to both stay the night so last night they stayed with me. It was nice having them there to help me to the bathroom, but I don't think any of us really got much rest.

This morning met me with some fear of the unknown.  Now I just don't know what to expect.  This means I don't know what to plan for.  All I really know for sure is that everyday I can keep Max growing inside me is a good day.  It's just the little logistics of trying to build a new normal for the 3 of us that keeps Jack in a good schedule for school, allows Randy to keep working but still be here to support me.  How do you figure these things out? It has been good for me to let Randy take over in that regard.  It gives him something to do & allows me to focus on not getting too worked up.  However there were a few breakdowns today - there have been the thoughts running through my head.  It is natural to wonder if I caused this somehow, I keep going over Thursday to figure out what I might have done, but I know I have to let that go.  Tomorrow will be better, I will be stronger again for our family & this little one inside me.

We met with our Dr this morning, she was excited to see me still pregnant. All of the nurses are happy with how "boring" I am. Our Dr's plan right now is one day at a time.  If I go into full blown labor she probably won't do anything to stop it as we have the steroids on board for Max's lungs & he is at a good weight & we are at a good phase in the pregnancy.  The concerns we will be watching for now are my amniotic fluid levels - as he grows he will have less room to move around without a normal amount of fluid.  Issues like cord prolapse start to become a concern.  One day at a time right, that's all anyone can ask for.

I have been cleared for Randy to take me on 1 wheelchair ride a day for up to an hour outside my room.  I have to stay on the unit though, no joy rides.  The boys wheeled me out onto a little patio & we sat at a table & talked about things.  I asked Jack how he was doing with things. I have to say it was like taking a bullet when he asked if his brother would die.  I had no idea he was carrying this fear around with him.  He is such a strong young man & he never lets you see when something is bothering him. We had a good talk about what the Dr's have told us about Max & how he will be.  He seemed pretty reassured.  We talked about what life is going to look like the next few weeks & how our schedules are going to change.

*I woke up to a small flurry of contractions this morning that the on-call Dr was able to put at bay by prescribing Procardia.
*I am off continual fetal monitoring & they are only monitoring me once every 8 hours for an hour.
*Bed rest is b.o.r.i.n.g.

Thankful fors:
*Showers! I was able to take a shower this afternoon, Randy had to help me in & out of the shower & wash my hair, but I feel so much better
*I finally had a bowel movement, seriously I'm just saying it -  it's been since Thursday & you just feel so much better
*They have an art cart for the children to use & this afternoon Jack & I spent some time together, he made a painting & I talked to him - we haven't had many of our moments that I have come to count on lately & it was nice for it to be just me & him hanging out & talking.  I miss his insights into the world.

Looking forward to's:
*We should get a tour of the NICU this week, probably Monday or Tuesday
*I am going to schedule a consult with the lactation consultants to learn about what breastfeeding will look like for our family
*Friday will be our next Ultrasound, I hope that the next time I see Max will be Friday, safely through the ultrasound screen

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Hospital Update Day 2:

Pretty uneventful today.  Which is great considering the situation.  We are just hanging out in the hospital room.  Jack is watching all the cable cartoons he can suck in as we don't have cable at home.  Randy is relaxing & I am trying to rule the world from my laptop & phone.  All is going well.

This morning I got to stand & give myself a little bath at the sink - it was pretty awesome, I'm not going to lie.  There is promise of an actual shower tonight & I am pretty pumped.  I think I am going to teach Jack how to flat iron my hair, who thinks this will end poorly?  At least in the hospital no one will say anything if there is a burned off chunk of my hair missing... right? Next week he might learn the fine art of giving his mother a manicure & pedicure.  Don't think I won't.

Max is still doing great, heart rate is still in the 120's - 140's & just chugging right along.  Hopefully he is in there sucking up all the food I have been eating & getting some chub on him.  I am planning on having the chubbiest preemie in the NICU.  I am feeling pretty good even though I am stuck in this bed.

* Met with the Dr on call from our service this morning, she was pleased with Max's weight from yesterday's ultrasound as well as everything else that we saw
* We will be moving to the Antepartum floor sometime today where it is apparently a promise land of better snacks, a special menu to order from & a mythical arts & crafts room
* Once I come off the Magnesium drip I will not have to be constantly monitored which means I will be able to get up & move around more then just bathroom privileges
* Last night I was actually able to sleep for about 10 hours on & off
* Contractions have all but stopped.  I have had a few today but they have had no intensity to them for the most part & only last 10-15 seconds.

Thank you for all the well wishes & support!!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Hospital Update: Day 1

*Update, I am pregnant & haven't been running since approximately week 8 because of some early on complications. I decided that I have my whole life to run & only these nine months to carry this amazing surprise.  I have continued working out under the guidance of a personal trainer with special pre/post natal experience & have managed to have a very healthy pregnancy up to last night*

Yesterday around 5pm I noticed some discharge, not a lot for this stage in pregnancy & from what WebMB had to say it was perfectly fine. However I noticed as I sat & read more & more - there was a strange leaking feeling.  Uh Oh! Thankfully I have the next best thing to on call nurses - an on call mother with oodles of OBGY/L&D experience.  She very calmly told me I would need to pack a bag & go in to the hospital to make sure I wasn't ruptured.  It became quite apparent the next time I tried to stand that I had in-fact ruptured.  I fired off rapid succession calls to my husband at work to come & pick Jack & I up - 20 minutes later we were on our way.  3 stop lights later I was walking into the ER.

I was admitted to the hospital & taken right up to the maternity center for monitoring & observation.  They confirmed the rupture & let me know I would now be completing my pregnancy on bed rest in the hospital.  This is where I got a little teary eyed & the emotions started to come up.  Normally in high stress situations I am very quiet, calm & have the ability to think really clearly.  But here I was faced with the thought that I might have one very tiny baby coming my way - 8 weeks too early.  I never thought I would have another.  I always thought that it wasn't in the cards for us after we had tried for so long after Jack.  I chocked it up to the weight thing & buried it.  I had one super great kid in Jack & we have a great little family.  When that pregnancy test was positive I was very very surprised, I never expected this & I knew as soon as I saw that little plus sign I wanted this baby more then anything.

I have been prescribed a course of IV antibiotics to prevent infection & have been on a magnesium drip to stop contractions.  Was also given a steroid shot to help mature his lungs.

We have met with the Neonatologist & have gone over what to expect.  It seems delivering a 32 week baby isn't as scary as it sounds.  He gave us a really good prognosis given what we have seen in the last day from Max. 

Here are the highlights:
*Max's heart rate has been ideal, staying between the 120's - 140's depending on when he is sleeping or active
*He is still a very active little man, I notice it even more with the reduced amount of amniotic fluid
*Max as of this afternoon weighs 4.1 lbs - which is above average for a 32 week guy.  My Mother has nicknamed him Mega Max - I think of him as Mighty Max - small but a force to be reckoned with - just like his Mom
*I still have around 7cm's of fluid - which is considered low/normal. However his organs are functioning well enough to keep producing fluid
*The magnesium has stopped the contractions from almost 10 per hour last night with low rectal pressure to possibly a couple an hour now with no pressure

*I only have bathroom privileges - staying in bed drives me crazy. However so far I have been OK.
*Seem to have a really bad reaction to the initial antibiotic drip - thankfully I have a super awesome kick ass nurse who really advocated to the Dr to take me off.  We are going to try an oral round of antibiotics & see if I tolerate that better.

The immediate goal is to get me to 48 hours post the start of the Magnesium drip & steroid shots for his lungs.  Once that happens they will take me off & see how it goes.  Hopefully Max will decide he's not quite ready & will stay in awhile longer.  The big goal (marathon goal I am calling it) is to get me to 34 weeks to get him a little bigger.

Thankful fors:
*One wonderful son who blesses each of my days.  He has hung in there like a trooper & has been passing out the little shoulder rubs like a sweetheart.
*A husband who is really step up kind of guy.  Really did that one right, because there could have been some doosies in those early 20's.
*A mother who has always taken the time to answer anything medical related. It's a serious blessing to know that she is
*Every single word of encouragement, every prayer, every positive thought - they all comfort me & lift my spirits up knowing that I have such support

It may sound odd - but becoming a runner has showed me a strength that I never knew I had.  All those miles of soul searching lead me to a part of me that I never knew was in there.  I feel like mentally stronger then ever.  Each goal is like getting to a mile marker with little water stops along the way. Sitting here on the monitor listening to Max's heart rate is like listening to footfalls.  It's a very familiar cadence to me & we are going to cross this finish line hand in hand.