Late last evening we got transferred to the Antepartum unit after I got taken off the Magnesium drip. We had a little party in our old room - Jack was pumped to try out the spray cheese in a can a friend had brought us in a fun snack bag gift - I think it was the first time he had ever had it & we will just say he.is.a.fan.
The new room has a place for Randy & Jack to both stay the night so last night they stayed with me. It was nice having them there to help me to the bathroom, but I don't think any of us really got much rest.
This morning met me with some fear of the unknown. Now I just don't know what to expect. This means I don't know what to plan for. All I really know for sure is that everyday I can keep Max growing inside me is a good day. It's just the little logistics of trying to build a new normal for the 3 of us that keeps Jack in a good schedule for school, allows Randy to keep working but still be here to support me. How do you figure these things out? It has been good for me to let Randy take over in that regard. It gives him something to do & allows me to focus on not getting too worked up. However there were a few breakdowns today - there have been the thoughts running through my head. It is natural to wonder if I caused this somehow, I keep going over Thursday to figure out what I might have done, but I know I have to let that go. Tomorrow will be better, I will be stronger again for our family & this little one inside me.
We met with our Dr this morning, she was excited to see me still pregnant. All of the nurses are happy with how "boring" I am. Our Dr's plan right now is one day at a time. If I go into full blown labor she probably won't do anything to stop it as we have the steroids on board for Max's lungs & he is at a good weight & we are at a good phase in the pregnancy. The concerns we will be watching for now are my amniotic fluid levels - as he grows he will have less room to move around without a normal amount of fluid. Issues like cord prolapse start to become a concern. One day at a time right, that's all anyone can ask for.
I have been cleared for Randy to take me on 1 wheelchair ride a day for up to an hour outside my room. I have to stay on the unit though, no joy rides. The boys wheeled me out onto a little patio & we sat at a table & talked about things. I asked Jack how he was doing with things. I have to say it was like taking a bullet when he asked if his brother would die. I had no idea he was carrying this fear around with him. He is such a strong young man & he never lets you see when something is bothering him. We had a good talk about what the Dr's have told us about Max & how he will be. He seemed pretty reassured. We talked about what life is going to look like the next few weeks & how our schedules are going to change.
Updates:
*I woke up to a small flurry of contractions this morning that the on-call Dr was able to put at bay by prescribing Procardia.
*I am off continual fetal monitoring & they are only monitoring me once every 8 hours for an hour.
*Bed rest is b.o.r.i.n.g.
Thankful fors:
*Showers! I was able to take a shower this afternoon, Randy had to help me in & out of the shower & wash my hair, but I feel so much better
*I finally had a bowel movement, seriously I'm just saying it - it's been since Thursday & you just feel so much better
*They have an art cart for the children to use & this afternoon Jack & I spent some time together, he made a painting & I talked to him - we haven't had many of our moments that I have come to count on lately & it was nice for it to be just me & him hanging out & talking. I miss his insights into the world.
Looking forward to's:
*We should get a tour of the NICU this week, probably Monday or Tuesday
*I am going to schedule a consult with the lactation consultants to learn about what breastfeeding will look like for our family
*Friday will be our next Ultrasound, I hope that the next time I see Max will be Friday, safely through the ultrasound screen
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